Descants, Salivations, Protestations, and Proclamations

Brussel Sprouts Can Be Good

2011-09-16T00:09:00.000-04:00

Growing up I hated Brussel Sprouts. I still do when somebody else makes them. I think there is one simple trick to making them. Boil them in milk. It takes out the bitterness or does something like that to them. Whatever it is--they're good. Here's my take.

Take some fresh herbs. I use basil and sage. Add them to water and bring to a boil. Let herbs boil in water for a few minutes to make a sort of tea. Add milk. I use about half water and half milk. Add salt and pepper. Once boiling, and be careful you watch it so it doesn't boil over. Drop in your brussel sprouts. Once it returns to a boil turn the heat down a bit. Throw in a little chunk of butter if you want. Boil over medium-high heat for about 7 minutes then scoop out and let drain and cool for a few minutes. If you want coat with a little butter and salt and pepper but it's not necessary. These will be the best brussel sprouts you've ever had.

A Tomato Sauce and a Salmon and Brussel Sprouts dinner: two simple culinary delights that begin with an herb garden

2011-08-28T09:00:00.004-04:00

With every year I garden, I am becoming increasingly aware of the value of growing herbs. I don't understand why everyone doesn't have a simple herb garden. One can interweave the plants with flowers and have something that has aesthetic value to multiple senses. Sages and basil with a little oregano and thyme mixed in with various flowers has multiple benefits. Put them in the ground and keep them watered and you will be happy.

The roma tomatoes are starting to ripen. And small batches of fresh tomato sauce this time of year is something I look forward to making. I use to focus on salsa but that has taken second fiddle. My most recent focus is a honey-bourbon cream tomato sauce.

Honey-Bourbon Tomato Cream Sauce
I take a half dozen (or however many I have--usually about 4 cups worth) roma tomatoes and skin them. It's easy to skin tomatoes: core them, slice an x pattern into the bottom and drop them in boiling water for about 15 seconds (at the most) then plunge them into an ice water bath. The skin comes right off a healthy, ripe tomato.

I pull some oregano, basil, and rosemary from the garden and a few cloves of garlic I grew and dried. This was my first year growing garlic and it is a definite step up from anything store bought. So I chop up the herbs and the garlic and heat up some olive oil. Then I drop in the garlic and let it saute for about a minute then drop in the other herbs. After another minute or so I add the bourbon. And I haven't figured out the measurements yet but I'm thinking about a 1/4 cup of bourbon for four cups of tomatoes. I guess it might depend on whether or not you like bourbon, but if you don't like the taste of bourbon, why cook with it? I let it boil to get the alcohol out and then I add about a tablespoon of honey and tomatoes. I chop up the tomatoes into big chunks before adding them. I don't use a lot of honey. The bourbon already provides some sweetness. Then you just let it cook over low heat for at least a half an hour covered. The longer the better. Of course you have to keep an eye on it, especially with the meaty tomatoes. This sauce got really condensed. After simmering, I add a half cup of half and half.

I also ended up adding a small can of tomato paste and a cup of the pasta water to the most recent batch. Anyway it was good and simple to make. I know it can be better though if I get the flavors properly proportioned. I also forgot to add salt which makes a difference in taste, too.

Herb Crusted Salmon and Brussel Sprouts
The other night I pulled a few leaves of thai basil and sage. I chopped up a garlic clove and some of the basil and rubbed it on top of a sockeye salmon filet with some olive oil and sea salt. I brought some water to a boil then added the same amount of milk and once it was boiling added salt and pepper and tossed in the brussel sprouts. I boiled them for 8 minutes. When two minutes were left I added the sage leaves and the thai basil leaves and a little butter. And drained them once the two minutes were up.

I grilled the salmon 3.5 minutes to a side over medium heat skin side down first. And I had a nice simple dinner. It all took about 20 minutes.

The Water Garden

2011-08-27T09:00:00.013-04:00

Press pause if you want the above video to stop looping or else it's gonna keep playing. I'd like to say I put the pond in for under $500. I would be telling the truth as long as you don't count anything around it say the patio, wall, plants, etc. I won't go as far as to say I've created a backyard paradise. And my actual garden has really taken a hit this year though it looks decent right now. The more important thing is I have myself a backyard retreat. A place I can easily relax, write, or just think. Wildlife visit--more than I'd like them to (Deer, for example are uninvited due to their poor manners). Birds and butterflies are beginning to take notice of it. I've always loved the sound of running water. Whenever I travel, I make sure I hike to a waterfall (when possible, waterfalls are hard to come by in the desert.). A tour of the full garden is down below. Time will tell if my hard work pays off when I see how it looks after winter.
I've tried my hand at a container garden with minimal success. Apparently you really need to keep those things watered. I've managed okay with herbs like thyme and oregano but they do just as well in the ground, oregano a bit too well. I've always had too many tomato plants. I thought containers would be a good idea. I'll try again next year and if they don't produce then, I'm done with it. You'll notice on the quick tour that there's still much cleaning up to do but there is plenty to see, some plants have really taken off. I love the vincas. You don't need to water those suckers at all and they stay full of blooms with great looking foliage. I've tried my hand at roses this year--real ones--not the knock-offs, I mean knock-outs. More on that in another post. The fish pond and waterfall is my favorite addition. I really hope I pull it off long term. Next year, I'll get more plants in there early in the spring. Plus I'll see how the ones in there winter over. I'm really tempted to keep the waterfall running through the winter. The nieces will be over soon to add rocks around the fountain and waterfall, that should give it a better look. The pond has several fish in it.
The nephew and each niece are putting a fish in it and naming it. More on that in another post. I'll post another video once I get things cleaned up a little better. Until then, enjoy.

Response to Mick Parson's Rules for Living

2011-08-26T09:00:00.009-04:00

I've mentioned Mick before a while back. Great writer--someone we should all read. He can easily be mistaken as a writer's writer and I suppose all of us fall into that category to a certain extent but his ohio expatriate blog was always my favorite and I am happy to see it up and publishing again. His most recent post warrants some response from me. It's a good exercise really--rules for living. It's a working list for him.  Here's my response--which is slowly turning into it's own list.

1) Mick's Rule: do no harm.  My rule: do unto others as you'd have them do to you. But all his first one really is, is "Don't be an asshole". And I'm with him there; we're all going to be an asshole sometimes though so I think it's important to add the importance of apologizing and being able to admit when we're wrong. We're all going to screw up sometimes. We might do harm to someone without realizing; often times it's how we handle when we screw up that makes or breaks us. Saying "I'm sorry" or "I was wrong, you were right" are good things to do when the moment calls for it. But I agree with his premise, forcing our will on others only makes the world a more miserable place. Being open to other's llifestyles and learning to accept and coexist make us a far richer society and make for a happier, more interesting world. It's hard for people to do though. Fear drives so many of us, especially during times like these, full of economic hardships.  Traversing into the unknown and taking risks can have far greater ramifications. But when I think about that, it's all the more reason to not be an asshole.

2) Mick's rule: Wear clean socks. My rule: Wear clean underwear and keep your bellybutton clean. I don't always wear clean socks. And it doesn't affect my psychoses one bit. I do wear clean underwear though and always clean out my belly button. This is not because of any parental rules or anything like that. My dad used to work in the OR and be in on a lot of emergency surgeries. I remember him talking once about how dirty peoples underwear were sometimes and how dirty their belly buttons would be. Of course, he may have been saying this just to get me to wear clean underwear and to scrub my belly button. I don't really know; I remember being pretty young. He may have mentioned something about dirty socks, too, but if he did, it never really registered. In fairness to Mick, he's talking about just feeling better having clean socks on. Yeah, I don't see it, clean underwear maybe . . . but not clean socks.

3) Mick's rule: Read something non-essential every day. My rule: Read something every day. I think it can be something essential; just read every day. Again, I'm with him on the premise. There are too many anti-intellectual people and too many stupid people in the world. Now, it just occured to me, that the more some of those people read, the dumber they might get. Especially if they're already unwilling to think for themselves. Still, I think exercising your mind every day is important, maybe that should be the rule.

4) Mick's rule: Live near a bar. My rule: drink when you need to--if you don't have any friends to drink with, pretend you do.  Of course, such things should be done when the days work is finished.

5) Mick's rule: Never offend a bartender,secretary or janitor. Amen to that.

6) Mick's rule: Be kind to all critter's smaller than you. My rule: Be nice to animals until they fuck up your garden such as eat your tomato plants, dig out your corn, eat your tulips, and eat your beans. Squirrels, rabbits, deer and mourning doves have prices on their heads in my back yard.

7) Mick's rule: Apologize when it's sincere and always keep your integrity. My rule: see #1.

8) Mick's rule: Be honest. My rule: Be honest but also respectful, empathetic, and sensitive to the feelings of others. Notice he didn't say, "be brutally honest."

9) Mick's rule: You know you had a good day when you can sleep that night. My rule: see #4

10) Mick's rule: The only thing you have to do in life is die. Everything else is an option. My rule: Let love rule, baby. Seriously, moderation is the key to life. Avoid excess and explore new things and take on new adventures with every year of your life. Learn to forgive, not to where people keep screwing you over but to where you can still look someone in the eye after they do. It ain't easy, especially when you're not asked to forgive someone who has done you wrong, all the more reason to do it in your own mind, though: let love rule, baby. I suppose in some respects this brings us back to number 1.

London Broil and Jalapeno Sour Cream Sauce with fresh steamed green beans

2010-12-04T08:00:00.001-05:00

How long have I had I had this blog and not one salivation on it? Well, that stops today. Here is one of my favorite combos. The fresh herbs rubbed over any meat is delicious and the sour cream jalapeno sauce is a perfect complement to many dishes. I prefer it with beef. Here are the ingredients and recipes. I'll give an illustrated, step by step instruction below.

Jalapeno and Sour Cream Sauce

London Broil and fresh herb rub

Creme Fraiche
1/3 cup Heavy Whipping Cream
3/4 cup Sour Cream
*this can and should be prepared ahead of time. I recommend doing it in a cold glass bowl. Mix the whipping cream into the sour cream gradually until you have a nice thick mixture. It shouldn't take more than 30 seconds. Store in fridge.

Ingredients:
1 or 2 jalapenos seeded and chopped (it's your call here but more than two will probably make it too hot)
1 to 3 cloves of garlic (again, your call, I use a lot)
olive oil (a couple teaspoons, use your eye)
optional: butter (about a half tablespoon)
salt and pepper to taste

Saute garlic and jalapeno until tender, add butter, stir in Creme Fraiche, salt and pepper to taste

*measurements are approximate. Use whatever amount you need to cover meat

1/4 cup Fresh Basil
1/4 cup Fresh Rosemary
4 cloves Fresh Garlic

Insert into chopper with a little Olive Oil. Rub on London Broil.
Grill over medium heat 4 to 8 minutes to a side.

Now the first thing you want to do is fire up the grill. Then make your Creme' Fraiche'

Put your sour cream in a bowl then gradually add the heavy whipping cream as you stir. You should get a nice looking thick mixture like what you see in the picture. Set it aside, preferably in the fridge.

Then it's time to chop up the herbs.

It's all pretty simple but time consuming. Put the basil, rosemary, and garlic in the chopper. I have a puny little chopper so I do a little pre-chopping.

NOW, it's time to chop. Make sure you add a little olive oil before chopping.

After chopping it all up, this is what you will end up with.

I like to rub the meet with a little olive oil and salt before coating it with the herbs. I always thinks it's a good idea to rub some coarse salt over beef before grilling. Here is a good pic of what it might look like. I was a little over ambitious with the herbs as you can see. Make sure you rub it all over the meat. It doesn't need to be this much as a little herb dan go a long way but this much doesn't hurt and it sure looks nice when you're finished.

Then go ahead and throw it on the grill. I aim for six minutes a side but you know how how your grill is. The important thing with London Broil, just like steaks, is that you don't overcook them. They don't have a lot of fat within the meat. Make sure you keep an eye on it but it is time to prepare the ingredients for the the sauce.

Chop up the garlic and seed and chop the jalapeno(s). The sauce only takes about 5 minutes to make. You can actually wait to do it until you pull the meat off the grill as the meat should rest for about 5 minutes before you touch it, anyway. After I turn the meat, I'll start the vegetable side if there is one. It takes me about six minutes to steam frozen green beans and about 8 to 10 for fresh in a steamer basket on the stove.

Here is the london broil resting.

Once your ready to make the sauce, put some olive oil in a sauce pan or small skillet and heat it up for a few seconds then add the garlic and jalapeno(s). Cook them over low to medium heat. You don't want to brown or overcook the garlic. A little brown is okay but too much will take a way from the sauce.

After they've cooked for a couple minutes, I'll toss in a little butter for flavor. With butter, like herbs, a little bit can go a long way so you don't need a lot. I have about 1/4 tablespoon in there. With the heavy whipping cream, it's almost unnecessary. Call it an indulgence or a guilty pleasure.

After the jalapenos are tender, turn off the burner. Slowly add the Creme' Fraiche' while stirring gently. The sauce can be warmed up if necessary but if you time it right you'll be able to add it right to the plate. It does not need to be terribly warm. It tastes its best if it is luke warm.

Now you're ready to slice the meat. London Broil should be sliced along the grain at a 45 degree angle.

Select a few slices to place on your plate.

Then add your vegetable. I chose fresh green beans from the garden.

And then add your sauce. I attempted to get fancy by putting it all around the plate and pretty much failed as it looks a little sloppy. The sauce is good with just about anything. It has a nice bite to it but the dairy balances it out beautifully. And then when you add the flavor of the meat with the rosemary and the basil and garlic, it is quite a treat.

The only thing left to do now is eat and enjoy.

Inspiration Round 2

2010-11-30T17:33:00.003-05:00

I like finding inspiration where it doesn't mean to be. Do some people really live their lives simply to inspire others? If so, I think that is a little self-involved or at least, a little self-righteous. I would like to think that there are things I've done in my life that have inspired or would inspire others. I don't know what those things are though. That's not why I would have done them. I think that is the way it should be. People aren't running back to me saying "you inspired me". I've received my share of appreciation over the years for what I've done but I wouldn't call that inspiring people. I like it when I see people challenging the odds. Following their dreams in spite of the obstacles.

But I also get inspired when I see people doing things that I want to be doing. Writing is at the top of that list. Mostly because I just simply don't do it enough. There was a time when I did it every day. A lot of it was crappy. I know this because I've been going back and reading a lot of it lately. But some of that crappiness turned into some stuff that I was pretty proud of. That's what writing is all about. Writing something and working on it until it's good. I've been getting back to it lately. And I'm producing a lot of crap. The good thing about that though, is that I know I'll make some of it pretty good if I stay with it. That's the trick. If you want to be a good writer, you have to do it all the time. You live with your writing and it lives with you. I am at my social weirdest when I am writing all the time. Something someone will do will remind me of something I've written or they will do something that I will want to write about and I immediately start thinking of the words in my head. It can be difficult to have a conversation with me when I get like that. But I digress.

My real point here is that writing is a lonely venture for the most part. It can be very discouraging because so much of the early drafts can be so terrible. There is a need for writers to draw inspiration from other writers. Kurt Vonnegut and James Baldwin are two that pop into my head immediately. But two others are friends of mine. When I realize I haven't written for a while or simply when I'm struggling with my own stuff, I look to their blogs. They help me realize that there are no rules when it comes to writing except to write what you are thinking and then just let it go from there.

Jen Lile gets the first kudos. Jen is is determined to have one adventure for every week of the year (or something like that). That is an inspirational idea in itself. If you think about it, we all experience at least one adventure a week or could if we wanted to. Jen takes it one step further and challenges herself to do something new, something she has never done before. If you can't find inspiration in that, then you are dead. Much of Jen's posts are standard, informative, and typically, yes, they are inspirational reads. If I were to use baseball metaphors, then I would say most of her posts are base hits (as opposed to outs, strike outs, or walks) but every once in a while she hits a home run like this one:

Creating Life's Report Card (click to read)

And then there is Mick Parsons. Mick is a great American voice (IMO). His writing brings out slices of life of real American characters who have confidence but are still struggling to find their way in a capitalistic world. His characters are human, imperfect like each of us, and they are not bashful at sharing their insights on the world around them nor do they hesitate to share the intimate workings of their own minds. His reads are delightful whether the plot is present or not and whether you're a cynic or not, though they are probably more entertaining if you are at least a little cynical. Here is a good taste, not his best, but good nonetheless:

Excerpts From In Season: "Nada" (click to read)

The bottom line is this: they write. They see themselves as part of a larger world. They share; meaning they write wanting to be read. And for me, the simple fact that they write to be read is inspirational.

The "Ground Zero Mosque" and Newt "the Xenophobe" Gingrich

2010-08-21T15:00:00.002-04:00

I received an email recently that was basically from a Newt Gingrich newsletter (http://www.newt.org/newt-direct/newt-gingrich-statement-proposed-mosqueislamic-community-center-near-ground-zero). By the way, note how I'm documenting my sources so you can go read more on what I'm wriitng about and find out more about it. It is important that we strive to be informed readers and make informed decisions. Jumping to conclusions rarely provides any good results.

He begins with:

There should be no mosque near Ground Zero in New York so long as there are no churches or synagogues in Saudi Arabia. The time for double standards that allow Islamists to behave aggressively toward us while they demand our weakness and submission is over.

I was quickly turned off by the insinuation that the US government should conduct itself the same as Saudi Arabia, which is a virtual theocracy. Newt Gingrich is a smart guy; he knows this isn't realistic (goes against our constitution); ergo, he is being disingenuous, or even worse, encouraging bigotry.

Now, I'm a smart guy. I know how to check sources. I call it looking things up, so I read the rest of his newsletter as I wanted to check his assertions. He of course cites no sources; he could be making it all up for all I know.

Here's a good article from USA Today of all places checking some of the facts if you want to just skip over my points: http://content.usatoday.net/dist/custom/gci/InsidePage.aspx?cId=cincinnati&sParam=34321137.story

First off, he calls it a mosque. The groups planning it never called it a mosque. It was called Cordoba House and while it had a muslim prayer center inside it (a mosque no doubt), it is intended to be a Muslim cultural center open to the public--atypical for most muslim facilities. (http://www.park51.org/facilities.htm). They changed the name to Park 51 project after the objections to the reference to Cordoba, Spain. Secondly, it's not being built on ground zero and I wouldn't even consider it near ground zero though I suppose that's up to what you consider to be close. I wouldn't be surprised to learn that there are other muslim facilities as close if not closer to ground zero.

Let's talk about the Mosque in Cordoba Spain for a minute. Newt says:

Today, some of the Mosque’s backers insist this term is being used to "symbolize interfaith cooperation" when, in fact, every Islamist in the world recognizes Cordoba as a symbol of Islamic conquest. It is a sign of their contempt for Americans and their confidence in our historic ignorance that they would deliberately insult us this way.

The proposed "Cordoba House" overlooking the World Trade Center site – where a group of jihadists killed over 3000 Americans and destroyed one of our most famous landmarks - is a test of the timidity, passivity and historic ignorance of American elites. For example, most of them don’t understand that “Cordoba House” is a deliberately insulting term. It refers to Cordoba, Spain – the capital of Muslim conquerors who symbolized their victory over the Christian Spaniards by transforming a church there into the world’s third-largest mosque complex.

Well after doing some research you'll find that the mosque of Cordoba is actually a Cathedral (in Spain--a country with strong ties to Roman Catholicism, ever heard of the Spanish Inquisition?). It was converted to a mosque for a while (during a time of muslim conquest though I'm pretty sure there was some Christian conquest going on at the same time). However, it has been a cathedral for around 1,000 yrs (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Mosque_of_C%C3%B3rdoba). Cordoba actually is a city where major religions have coexisted peacefully for hundreds of years, (though I think it's mostly Catholic: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C%C3%B3rdoba,_Spain). In fact, Muslims are petitioning to worship in the Cathedral but the bishop has had to draw the line on that one (http://www.christianpost.com/article/20100818/muslims-lobbying-to-worship-in-spains-cordoba-cathedral).

It's worth mentioning that if we looked hard enough we could find plenty of places around the world where people of different cultures and different beliefs live side by side harmoniously with little to no conflict other than your typical petty arguments that all human beings are capable of. But I think it's easier to find more places where conflicts exist and with them come rhetoric like Newt Gingrich's (often initiated and sustained with such rhetoric). The last thing we need is to promote the same kind of conflicts here in the US.

I should probably devote another post to Gingrich's newsletter responding to it paragraph by paragraph. As for this post, my argument is that Gingrich's rhetoric is disingenous and more importantly, encourages fear and anger towards muslims and even aggression. His second last sentence is, "No surrender." Gimme a break, dude. Extremist and evil doers are all around us. A group that wants to bring some economic stimulus to an area and try to enlighten not just non-believers but also enlighten and set an example for those who practice Islam around the world is not at war with us. As is often the case, how a message is received is often as important as how it's delivered. Gingrich's rhetoric tells me that peace is not something he is interested in and he'll distort the facts to accomplish this.

As far as the project goes, there are two things that are important: 1) Transparency on the part of those funding the project. It would not surprise me to find individuals with ties to foreign governments involved in this. I don't think that this should prevent it from being built but I would be wary. Also (2), sensitivity to those directly affected by 9-11 should be addressed. Again, this shouldn't prevent it from being built but this issue shouldn't be ignored. I see an opportunity here for good things to happen as opposed to a cultural war. Perhaps devoting a part of the center to interfaith understanding would be a smart move.

A couple other notes to Gingrich and his audience:

comparing New York to Mecca is falacious. This is an extension of his falacious comparison of Saudi Arabia to the United States. The rule of law is different in this country, thank goodness, than Saudi Arabia's.
Gingrich's rhetorical devices are startlingly close to the rhetoric terrorists organizations use to recruit. They try to make their audience believe they are under attack, that they are being deceived, and they distort facts to create distrust. And probably most important, they make their audience seem like the enemy is directly responsible for their every day struggles.

Inspiration

2010-08-19T10:00:00.018-04:00

A former colleague recently contacted me and told me to hang in there. "Hanging" isn't the right word to apply to my situation. Flapping my wings to get ready to fly is more appropo. As corny as that sounds when I read it, it's a better metaphor than "hanging in there." In August 2005, I took a job as the coordinator of a writing center whose primary focus was to serve developmental and preparatory students. The center was housed in a program that was an open access portal for most of the colleges at the University. The job had promise for many ambitions I kept close to my heart. Tutors were an intricate part of the curriculum. Part of the job description was to establish relationships with the community and other parts of the campus. They also wanted a creative writing group started for students. All those qualities are essential to a center serving developing thinkers and writers. If there was one thing I knew how to do, it was what this job was asking me to do. It was a job I always saw myself doing at a University I always saw myself being a part of.

I took it on by storm. Within a year (almost instantly really), we were relevant and making an impact. The Writing Center was a vibrant part of the University. Students from all over came to visit our tutors. We had our detractors, yet many students, faculty, and staff still thought we were great at what we did and they still think so to this day. A year after being hired, I was asked to take over the Math Center and implement the same procedures I had in place for writing. A year after that, I was asked to organize the welcome day for the students coming into the program. I've worked for some great people, worked with some great people, and had even greater people working for me. Through all the success and all the anguish (yeah, I screwed up occasionally) of being an accountable leader and descision maker, I stuck it out.

One year after being hired, the program instituted admission standards. Each year they raised them to coincide with the other colleges raising theirs. They were slowly eliminating (or "changing" using the language some might) the whole reason why I took the job and felt it was so important. Last year, we learned that we were entering our final year of the program. I never started that creative writing group. My connections around the campus and community are not as strong as I'd like for them to be. I optimistically thought, or hoped might be a better word, that our track record spoke for itself and that the University would certainly want to keep us around. Last month, I learned my job would be abolished along with the program (and the tutors, and the whole center). I wasn't surprised but I was disappointed. It's hard for outsiders to look the other way when it comes to what our tutoring center has accomplished. You have to really bend your neck and close your eyes and ears to not notice it. My whole point is, I've been hanging in there. It's time to let go, especially when they're taking away what I want to hang onto.

As one might imagine, I am spending a lot of time reflecting, reflecting on my time here at this institution and on the decisions I've made both personally and profesionally over my adult life.

I've always made time to work with and help students. It is where I find inspiration. As a student, I was always one who had the brains but struggled to make the learning experience a valuable one. Along the way, I was fortunate to have some true educators amidst many poor teachers. My point is, I know what it's like to feel lost and not know where to turn. I know what it's like to feel marginalized or to even be dismissed.

Occasionally, I get to work with what I consider a true developmental student. Someone who can make it, who wants to make it, but needs a little extra something, whether it be mentoring, encouragement, or just additional knowledge. That's where tutoring comes in. I first experienced these students in large quantities down in Alpine, TX, first as a grad student then as a writing instructor. I remember the first time a student sought me out to thank me. I hadn't seen him in a year, but for my first 2.5 yrs he visited me regularly at our Writing Center. He wanted to tell me that he was graduating. And that he couldn't have done it without me. I chuckled as we shook hands and said " Paul, you were the one who worked hard." But he wouldn't let go of my hand and he kept insisting, "no Eric, I learned a lot from you. You really helped me a lot. I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you so much." This event was a pivotal moment in my life. I was right. He did work hard but deep down, I knew he was right, too. I knew and helped many students like him and have continued to up to this day. They all don't come back and say thank you, and they all don't make it to graduation. But when I work with one, I still remember Paul coming up and thanking me. I was working with one the other day who reminded me of those students. She is someone I hear students, and my own staff, discuss. They say she is weird and slow. She is in a literal sense. But she's also bright. I like watching her mind work as I explain to her ways to deal with her writing process. I know she is smart. She comes up with her ideas on her own. She takes the time to write them down herself. She wants to do it on her own. It just takes her a while. She is a good learner (and actually a halfway decent writer when it's all said and done). But she drives people crazy.

Another student I worked with came in at the last minute the night before his paper was due. I could have labeled him a procrastinator if I wanted and told him he's on his own--that's this institution's mentality; they call it "student accountability." But I've learned to not stereotype them, at least not before getting to know them (by then, I can usually avoid it). We sat down; I started to look over his paper. He tried to jump in a couple times and I stopped him and asked him to just bear with me, I was just a little tired. I had already been there for over 12 hrs. But the third time he opened his mouth, I finally heard him. "I know it's late and you want to get going," he said, "there are a few places where I revised things and I want some feedback on those areas." He knew where they were in his paper; he knew what he was trying to accomplish; he understood what it meant to revise; he understood his process. If you're a writer, you know what a joy it is to discuss process with another individual who understands his own process or approach to writing. I was glad I didn't tell him he was on his own. It was a good end to a long day. It is easy to be critical of these students, Student A cries ALOT, she is consistently overwhelmed and nervous but also determined. Student B shouldn't have waited until the last minute and may not have even been there if his instructor hadn't required him to go. But for me, that is inconsequential. Both of them take their learning seriously. Both of them want to succeed. They are trying to do it the right way--no short cuts. And I am richer for having worked with them.

I wrote the above back in March 2010 while still working at the University of Cincinnati. It is now mid-August. It won't be the last time I write about inspiration, but it will be the last time I write about the University of Cincinnati (sounds good anyway, huh?). I still tutor students like the aforementioned at another institution. I am glad I was/am in a profession where I can find inspiration. Believe it or not, it was a little easier to walk away knowing that if I stayed I would be doing something else.

Hide your kids, hide your wife, AND hide your HUSBANDS cuz they're raping everybody out here!

2010-08-18T10:00:00.006-04:00

I am facinated by this. If you have not heard of Antoine Dodson, it's time you did. He is very upset over the attempted rape of his sister. As humourous as this is, he is angry:

Once this was posted, someone got a hold of the raw footage and turned it into music video:

Then the news program did a follow up story . . . straight faced:

Newport Aquarium with the niece

2009-11-16T17:00:00.001-05:00

I take each one of my siblings' children out for their birthday. I don't know who looks forward to it more, me or them. I pretty much let them decide where we go and what we do. A lot of them choose the Aquarium. You would think it would be the same every time but it's not. Now this is in no way an endorsement, bu I have to hand it to the Newport Aquarium. They keep it interesting for kids; even I can stand there and watch some of those larger tanks for a while. And usually when I have even one child with me, I don't get to move at my own pace. As they get older, I'm finding that changes. More and more they take the time to look, listen, and learn about some of the things that are there. I'm not certain but I'm beginning to think there is some research that goes into their decision. This trip with Olivia was all about petting the sharks. The Aquarium is more than just a bunch of fishbowls. You start at the rivers of the world and soon after you pass the pirhanas, you get to the ocean where you have an octopus, lobsters, sea horses, and lots of colorful fish, and then you get to the frog playground (They call it the Frog Bog). There are lots of tiny terrariums with lots of crazy looking frogs. But they are outnumbered by all the screaming kids that think they are at a playground because there's a playhouse that every single kid needs to run through several times over. Oh, and did I mention there's a lifesize frogger game where you have to hop on the directional buttons to move your frog.

Oh Yeah, and they have these giant frogs for you to sit on and get a picture.

It's dumb, but the kids love it. I don't get the playhouse thing. They also have an otter exhibit and a place where you can feed the birds nectar like they have at the Cincinnat Zoo. It's a great place to get shit on by a bird. Thankfully, my niece wanted to pet a shark.

Well, to get to the Shark petting, you have to go through the shark tank and before you get to the shark tank, you got this jellyfish exhibit which is pretty cool as long as you're not a jellyfish. And chances are, since they are jellyfish, they probably don't know any better anyway.

And finally there is the shark tank with shark rays, and giant loggerhead sea turtles, and lots of fish including sharks. It's like walking in a tunnel that's under the water . . . oh wait a minute it is a tunnel that's underwater . . . anyway, it's pretty cool. And Olivia enjoyed it.

The photo at the beginning was inside the Shark tank, so is the one to the left, obviously. I got some decent shots. It's tough to do; they don't want you to use a flash. Finally we left the tank and once we got through the restaurant without dipping into the contents of my wallet, it was time to pet some sharks. This was where I was most proud of Olivia. She was determined to pet a shark and instead of just shoving her hand in the water like the other kids (and I) were doing, she did what the shark woman talking over the microphone said to do. Hold your hands on the counter and wait for the shark to pass by you then touch it. It takes a certain amount of patience to do this. The sharks need to pass by a few times before they'll be near the top of the water. Olivia planted herself at the edge of the pool and waited patiently. I think she got one on her first try. After Olivia pet a shark, the other kids started to keep their hands back, too. And every body was shark petting. It was rather exciting. Even I pet one. I never had before. I don't think I have ever spent that much time at the shark petting pool. And I don't think I've ever seen anyone have that much success petting the sharks. She did it at several different areas and touched several different kinds.

It's actually kind of gross if you think about it so try not to. That wasn't the end of the day. We finished with a trip to the candy store, bought a present, then finished at Outback Steak House. I love it when they pick those restaurants.

Colorado: Hanging out on Crystal Mountain

2009-11-09T22:20:00.015-05:00

Rainbow Over Colorado

Photo above: My cousin's house on Crystal Mountain in Colorado.

I am lucky to have cousins in Colorado. I feel like I have a second home there. And each time I visit, I think about being out there a little more often. My cousin Erin and her family live in Boulder. My cousin Mara just moved to Denver with her husband. They are both great, fun, lovely people and so are their husbands. But my cousin Paul is who I spend the most time with, for better or worse. Usually better, rarely worse. He lives west of Ft. Collins with his wife and their two dogs. They are all siblings, well my cousins are, not the spouses or the dogs. They are from Ohio (my cousins, not the dogs though they visited and I think they liked it ok). Their house is near the Horsetooth Reservoir, right near the Poudre Valley, and I would argue that the area from La Porte west through the North Park basin along the Cache La Poudre is the best part of CO. Paul has great neighbors and great friends throughout Colorado. I can always count on being treated well and having a good time when I'm out there. An added bonus this past summer was spending some time up at his getaway on Crystal Mountain. We were at about 8500' elevation. Storms would form around us in the afternoon. The rainbow in the picture appeared between two of these storms. Mother Nature put on a show the whole time we were there. It was warm, cold, wet, dry but no matter what the weather was doing, it was peaceful . . . even when we were drinking . . . sort of, I suppose that might depend on your definition of peace but I thought it was peaceful (it probably helped being sheltered from some of those impressive thunderstorms). The pictures below give some of the great views found on the property.

Flowers were abundant all over the meadow and in the wooded areas.

Here is a view of his "cabin" from the Northeast. You can see two earlier structures on the left. Crystal Mountain is in the background.

Paul getting ready to hit the Tequila with me (actually I think we already were). This photo is posted without permission.

Here are two shots with Horsetooth Mountain in the distance. Ft. Collins is the white peak in the distance. Ft. Collins would be to the right of Horsetooth Mt.

Mini Golfing with the nephew

2009-07-18T18:37:00.014-04:00

My nephew Aidan is a cute kid. He's about to turn 7. Bright too, even though he likes to announce he doesn't know how to read yet (this isn't entirely true), his brain is always churning. I was over at his house a few weeks ago for his younger sister's birthday (I take each niece and nephew out for their birthday) and out of the nowhere he blurts out, "Uncle Eric, will you take me mini-golfing?" We all got a kick out of the spontaneity of the question. I found out later he played it on the computer and I guess wanted to know what it was like in real life.

So today we went, not for his birthday, but because I hadn't played in a long, long time and I thought it would be good for me. I took him to a Putt-Putt course we all went to as kids near where we grew up. I let him sit in the front seat. He declared his appreciation by informing me that the front was much cleaner than the back. "Yeah," I said, "it is kind of cluttered back there."

It was a cool, sunny day, but as we drove there, the clouds moved in. And as we started playing, it began to drizzle. It took me a few minutes to get him to hold the club right and to swing it correctly. Even I had forgotten exactly how to teach it. He wanted to swing it like a baseball bat, bending his elbows, pulling it back, and twisting his wrists as he swung. I got him to do a gentler sway and keep the club pretty straight and after a few practices, he got it in the hole in two hits. It was the easy first hole, just a straight shot. I got a hole in one on it--still, for him, two was very impressive. The next task was to get him to wait for the ball to stop rolling before he hit it again. That took a little while.

"Wait for the ball to stop, Aidan. Focus," I would tell him. "Patience. Set your feet. Aim your club." Through the front nine, he would occasionally get a 2 or a 3 here and there. If I could keep him from being careless, he would do okay. Before each hole, we would look at the hole and talk about how to hit it in. Usually, we would have to bank it or hit it up a hill or through a loop. By the tenth hole he was getting it. He understood the bank shot and the hills and how to hit around the obstacles. And when I could tell he was taking it seriously, I would give him mulligans. To his credit, he never asked for one. And when I would tell him to do it over, he would protest and want to hit it from "the field" as he called it. After a while, I just let him.

It was gently raining by the time we finished the first nine holes. He had a hoodie pulled over his head. I did not.

We were the only ones on the course. The guy working the desk waved at us and yelled, "you guys don't have to play in the rain. I can give you a ticket and you can come back and play another time." Aidan did not like this idea. He was having fun, and as he put it, "it really [wasn't] raining that hard."

When we got to the sixteenth hole, he looked at me and said, "I just have to hit it straight, right Uncle Eric?"

He was right, it was a straight shot, but it was a narrow path to the hole. It had mulch on both sides surrounded by the wood borders every Putt-Putt course has; there was little margin for error. He raised the putter behind him like he was going to drive the ball down a fairway.

"Aidan!" I said, "you don't have to cream it. Focus. Aim. Don't be careless."

"It's just a straight shot, Uncle Eric" he said non-chalantly lowering the putter back down to the ball.

"If you hit it too hard, it will go over the hole instead of dropping in," I said.

"I just need to hit it straight," he said, quite good naturedly, not at all bothered by my incessant coaching. Mind you, he was holding the putter down by the ball, looking at the hole every now and then as he talked to me. He didn't wait for another reply from me; he pulled that putter back and drilled the ball. It went speeding over the felt and right over the hole. I cringed. The ball hit the wood backstop behind the hole and popped up in the air, dropped back down, bounced a couple times and rolled a couple more inches right into the hole. If that hole isn't there, that ball rolls all the way back to us.

I started laughing. I couldn't believe it. "You know what that is, don't you?" I asked.

"A hole in one!" he yelled out. He was quite proud of himself and not as surprised as me at his success.

"You have a very confident stroke," I complimented him somewhat tongue-in-cheek. I did not get a hole in one, by the way. After that, the first shot was always taken seriously. He would find the hole, inspect the obstacles, and determine where the ball should be hit. He two-ed out the last three holes--no mulligans. And was ready for another eighteen.

He was two-ing and three-ing most of the greens, at least more than I expected him to. Once in a while, he would get careless. The shots after the first one didn't matter much to him. Sometimes it looked like he was playing hockey instead of golf but for the most part, he was trying.

At one point he asked me, "Have you played here before, Uncle Eric?"

"Yeah, your dad and I used to play here when we were kids," I said.

"Wow, this is an old course," he said, quite serious and quite astounded that a mini golf course could be around that long. "I didn't know it had been here that long. It really doesn't look that old."

I started laughing. "I'm sure they try to keep it looking nice," I said. The funniest part about this is that as far as Putt-Putt courses go, this one is a real "hole in the wall", no pun intended.

We eventually came to a hole similar to the one he got the previous hole in one on. By this time he was moving ahead of me. There was no more discussing the holes ahead of time. He was just getting to it.

But again, for this hole, I reminded him, "you don't have to hit it real hard."

"I'm just going to hit it straight," he said, still good natured but with a slight accent of concentration that hadn't been there before. And he did hit it straight. And again, he pulled that putter back and drilled the ball, and it went over the hole, hit the back, popped up into the air, bounced back down and came speeding back towards the hole. My jaw dropped. The ball hit the hole then popped into the air again, dropped straight back down, rimmed almost halfway around the hole, then fell in. As he retrieved his ball, he reminded me, "Just hit it straight, Uncle Eric." I couldn't have kept the grin off my face if I'd wanted to.

"Okay," I said. I tried to hit it straight, but I did not get a hole in one.

By this time, the rain had stopped, and he did not want to wait for me to go. He would politely ask if he could go on to the next hole each time after he finished without exception, and I would always say yes remembering what that was like. As I finished a hole a few holes later, I noticed he was teeing off (is that what you call it--you might as well when he's playing) at the hole with two triangles jutting in at different points. He had creamed the ball again and it had hit the second triangle. It caromed off the triangle to the opposite wall, hit the back wall then rolled in the hole. Another hole in one.

"How did you do that?" I asked, mostly to make sure I had just seen what I thought I had just seen. He proceeded to quickly explain to me by running across the green and showing me where the ball needed to hit on the triangle and that it would go on to hit in the other two places if I did that. But he also mentioned that I had to hit the ball hard enough so that it would go in the hole.

"Yeah, Yeah," I thought.

I did not get a hole in one. I was a couple inches short and as the ball hit the back wall and came to a stop, he respectfully said, "Yeah, you didn't hit your ball as hard as I hit mine."

He was correct; I had not. It was an observation more necessary than perhaps he realized. And again, I couldn't stop smiling. "You're right," I told him. "I didn't."

At the end of the day, he had three holes in one and I had three holes in one (different holes). And he had a better score than me on several holes. And his holes in one were NOT mulligans.

My nephew and nieces are good at making astute observations and asking good questions. I cherish my time with each of them. Sure, they're not always cute. They always want something. They don't always listen. More than once, Aidan had to go running after his ball because he hit it wrong or too hard. He wouldn't always listen. He asked if we were going to get candy afterwards. He kept wanting a soda out of the machine. And his holes in one, except for maybe the last one, were pretty lucky. But those aren't the things I focus on, and I don't think it's what they really care about either. There are the conversations that I don't always realize I'm having until afterwards that stay with me. Aidan and I had one today. It didn't hit me until after I got home. I don't even remember exactly how it went, but I remember the gist of it, and I don't think it lasted even a minute.

One thing Aidan kept asking me was how many points I had. And there were holes that he took seriously and I would give him a real score, but there were ones he didn't and I would just give him a four or a five. At one point I said, "it's about having the lowest score, not the most points."

To which he replied, "It's about having fun, not who scores the most points, right Uncle Eric?"

How could I not smile. "That's right," I said.

My nephew Aidan is a good boy.

Cheers.

Family Guy, Barry Manilow, and being a dude.

2009-07-13T22:53:00.000-04:00

"I thought you were different."

It's a line I've heard a few times over the years.

What does it mean? That they thought I was a girl? Gee, sorry I disappointed you. Although that being said, I do like to think I'm in touch with my sensitive side.

I usually take the statement as a reference or a pseudo dig to one of their exes, and quite frankly, a pretty insidious thing for one person to say to another. The fact that I'm not the person they thought I was makes me want to crawl into a hole and not come out for a while.

I don't though.

Ultimately, I've always considered the comment somewhat of a relief. Like maybe I really am the stereotypical, insensitive, beligerent, male. I mean, deep down we all want to be Billy Baddasses, right?

Male bravado has always given me something to write about. And how hard (no pun intended) some dudes go to display their toughness is something worth satirizing. Now, I'm not talking about those dudes in the UFC or whatever it's called. Those dudes really are bad asses. And there are plenty of things both genders do that confirm our strengths that have nothing to do with beating the living spit out of one another. But there are certain external behaviors that men do which are ridiculous. I'm not going to pick on women behaviors because I don't really understand them and I don't want them to hate me because then I think my life might become pointless.

I frequently can be found down on Main Strausse in Covington, KY having a beer out on the sidewalk with a friend or friends. There are times when our conversations will regularly be interrupted by extremely loud motorcycles being driven around the block. It is negative, anti-social behavior and disconcerting if you are deeply involved in conversation. Of course, it doesn't help that my friend likes to yell out that the men driving the bikes have small penises. His point is well taken though. Riding the loud bike through a crowded area blantantly screams out a number of insecurities on their part and is a misguided effort at hiding those insecurities. Certainly there are inately male behaviors that at least in certain circles, we indulge in. Call it being a dude, following guy code, or whatever cheesy platitude you want to ascribe to the behavior. Whether they be crude, infantile, or blatantly offensive behaviors, we men also have a sensitive side that should not be repressed. Those guys driving those bikes--they need a hug, but they're either afraid to go get one or to go give one. We all have peaks and valleys, accomplishments and disappointments and both usually occur when we are putting a lot of effort into something or someone, and these experiences are what can create our insecurities and develop our coping skills. In some cases, these experiences make us hard, anti-social jerk-offs who would rather be negative and bring down every social situation we're put in rather than make a positive impact on our surroundings. It's often a result of a fear of repeating or reliving those highs and lows that can push people to anti-social behavior.

I like to think that I am in touch with my sensitive side. Don't misunderstand me; I have an ego, a pretty big one. I have my moments of self centered, "please pay attention to me" moments when I am around others. I was out recently going on about running 3 miles in 20 minutes and how great I was in MS Access. It is a very embarrassing memory (not of the run or my grasp of Access, but the bragging). Sometimes I think I really need to get over my self. And then I do for a little while.

One of the things that helps me be sensitive is my garden. I have a vegetable garden. A pretty big one (see, that's a guy comment, had to get that one in there). Produces way more than I need, which means I get to share, which means I'm sensitive (sort of, I only share what I don't want and only when I feel like it).

I also have a flower garden. Flower gardens are not manly. Having a flower garden is not something I brag about. You want to know what I do brag about? Not the colors of the flowers, THE SIZE OF THEM. I grow mammoth sunflowers in my garden. You ever seen them? They're huge man; GIGANTIC. 12 feet tall. Blooms are two feet wide. They give you hundreds of seeds per flower. Do I like flowers? yes. Do I brag about growing them? No . . . well . . . sort of.

That's the joke, the satire in it all. I don't talk about the beauty of the flowers; I talk about their size. The amount of seeds they produce. The amount of space they take up. That's manly. And I think that's worth a laugh. What is not quite as funny are the guys who use guns and a variety of other noise makers to get attention. Not just the jack off who goes around killing and hurting people but the doofus that shoots the gun off his porch and hollers, "Wooo Hoooo!" What do you do if you want people to think you're tough when you're feeling wimpy? Buy a gun or some bombs or something noisy, then go somewhere and be destructive or at the very least, annoying (yeah suicide bombers, even you). In my fiction, guns almost always represent a false sense of phallus. They are pulled out or are used at those moments of heightened insecurity. A crossroads, if you will, where a man has to decide to accept who he is or hide it until it consumes him. Of course, that's in my fiction.

The short clip below is one of the funnier ones I've ever seen from Family Guy. It parodies a scenario where men hide their true feelings while sitting around drinking beer. It does this utilizing a conversation about Barry Manilow, a musician not exactly known for his machismo. I remember mom having a Barry Manilow album when I was a little kid, probably still does; the cover had a close up portrait of Manilow and when I first looked at the cover I thought, "is that a girl?"

I can't say that I have a favorite Barry Manilow song, but I think most people do. I remember asking a girl I once knew and cared about, if she ever heard the song, "Even Now," by Bob Segar. She didn't hear me say the Segar part, just the title, "Even Now". She got very excited before I finished the question, got on the computer, brought up the Manilow song, and listened to it teary-eyed. She would occasionally look to me, either for approval or to see if I was a little clempt, too. I wasn't. I was beside myself. I don't talk to her anymore, not because of that, though I bet it's related somehow (I'm pretty sure she wasn't thinking of me when she was listening to the song).

I think we all have at least one song that could turn us into a girl if we listened to it enough. It's usually because of a woman we have these songs. I have a few: "Rainbow Connection" by Kermit the Frog, "The Way You Kiss Me" by Faith Hill; there's a SEAL song that I can't remember, "Touched by a Rose" I think (in fact I may have gotten that Faith Hill title wrong), and then there was a Bee Gees song at one time but I can't remember it, so I guess it really doesn't count. I don't go out of my way to listen to these songs because 1) I don't want to turn into a girl and 2) I don't live in the past.

I don't have a favorite Barry Manilow song. I think you have to be married for like ten years minimum to like his music. Although I remember getting mom's album out once in a while and pretending I was a DJ and I would mix "Copa Cabana" in with some Beach Boys and Billy Joel. That was back when I was in grade school. And I was being a DJ which meant I was playing it for other people. Of course, there's that song, "Can't Smile Without You;" it's kind of cute. And I'd like to think I'll be with someone long enough that the refrain to the song, "Looks Like We Made It" might have some meaning. I'll probably be pooping in diapers by the time that happens though. And if I am, I'll probably be singing the song to myself (or to the nurse wiping my butt).

Enjoy the clip. Afterwards, read below.

The satire in this scene really comes out after Joe declares his love of Manilow. Look at his mouth after he says it. Clearly Joe said the one thing they all were thinking but were afraid to say as they spoke of Manilow's "okay" songs. The following scene has them at the concert and Quagmire gets serenaded by Manilow to the tune of "Mandy". Very funny if you can find it.

Sometimes I get caught up in these conversations about music and I can't tell if I'm in a pissing contest or a popularity contest. Some would argue that there is not much of a difference. Music is important, don't get me wrong, but it's not the kind of music you listen to so much as it is the importance of the music to the individual. There are a number of songs that will trigger memories and remind us of a time, often a specific moment in time or a specific person in our life, that we never want to forget for better or for worse. This becomes part of our identity, the very essence of who we are, which of course includes how we act around others. Those stories/memories are often more interesting than the music. Give me someone who listens to a bunch of stuff different than me any day over stuff I already listen to. It's a great way to get to know someone. Not so much the music itself as the stories behind why they listen to it. Even people who aren't really "into" music have those stories. And what I often find is that my musical tastes only broaden and my friendships only strengthen when I take the time to listen to those stories.

So I don't think us guys need to run around constantly talking about our favorite, mooshy, soft rock song. I just think it's okay if we have one. And if that song is playing in your head and it makes you smile, just don't tell anybody why you're smiling, dude. And for Christ's sake, get mufflers for your frickin' bikes.

Cheers.

Todd Snider, Thursday Night's Hurricane, MJ and more

2009-06-29T00:11:00.005-04:00

Todd Snider is a musician I had never heard of before Wed, June 24, when I found myself driving home in my car and listening to his interview on NPR. If you did not hear it, I strongly recommend you follow this link and listen to it: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=105862831. I found him refreshingly genuine and down to earth for someone who is clearly talented artistically. He was intelligent and just sounded like an all around cool guy who's been through the ringer and still manages to keep doing what he loves. His explanation of why he wrote a song about Doc Ellis, a Pittsburgh Pirates pitcher who threw a no-hitter against the San Diego Padres while tripping on LSD in 1970 has stayed in my mind since I listened to the interview. He calls it a song for the unprepared. About it he said, "I felt connected to that, because many times I have come to work unprepared and still done OK," Snider says. "I think Doc Ellis gives unprepared people everywhere someone to look up to. He didn't do it [take LSD on the day he was supposed to pitch] on purpose — he thought he was pitching the next day." The title of the song is "America's Favorite Pastime." Todd Ellis is a cool dude. Listen to the song. You will not be disappointed.

Thursday, June 25 brought torrential rains and lightening that we rarely see in the Greater Cincinnati Area. My garden was leveled. The ground was saturated through Friday evening. The corn was on it's side. At least one row of beans looks like it's not going to make it. Tomato plants were upheaved and knocked over. Bean plants were buried in the mud. Mammoth Sunflowers were on their sides. It was an ugly sight. As of Sunday, the one row of beans still does not look good. Other rows look poor but may pull through. The tomatoes and corn look good and everything else is pretty much upright after taking the spare time I've had the last few days to tend to it. The last three years, we have not gotten near enough rain for our (my nieghbors and my) gardens to prosper. This year, we've gone without rain for more than three days, once (6 days) since mid-May when most of my plants were put in the ground. I conditioned my soil which has a lot of clay to begin with, with peat moss and sand. It does a pretty good job of retaining moisture especially now that the plants are a good size. But with the way we've been getting rain, it doesn't drain quick enough. It's almost like I've done too good of a job. Even after the 6 day "drought" the soil was still moist two inches down. Once it gets to three is when you need to water. Don't think I'm complaining. I have over 200 tomatoes growing and starting to ripen and the corn is between knee and waist high. Several of my tomato plants are six feet tall. I've had one watermelon go from the size of a pea to the size of a baseball in four days. My neighbors and I are thinking it's going to be a good year.

MJ
Dear Michael,

when I was thirteen, I thought it was cool when you did the moonwalk. It wasn't as cool after I realized that I could only do it in my socks and even then, I wasn't really doing it, but it was still pretty cool. You were one hell of an entertainer back then. You set the bar for the spoiled brats and hedons that came after you.

R.I.P. I'm pretty sure you'll never be forgotten.

Sincerely,

Eric

P.S. You were one weird dude

The Cincinnati Reds came close to getting Mark Derosa. Instead the Cleveland Indians traded him to the Cardinals. Damn those Cardinals. Damn them. Damn them. Damn them.

Kentucky Bourbon: I have been rediscovering Kentucky Bourbon. Inexpensive or high priced, it's all good, mixed with the right beverage of course. Too much of it is bad news and I'm not just referring to the next morning.

I'd admit I'm an alcoholic, but I think you're supposed to quit after admitting that and I don't want to quit.

If you know any recovering alcoholics, don't drink in front of them. Give them a hug and have a soda instead.

Cheers

Inaugural Post (Descants, Salivations, Protestations, and Proclamations?)

2009-06-20T00:21:00.006-04:00

So what the hell am I doing with this title, "Descants, Salivations, Protestations, and Proclamations"? Delusions of grandeur I am sure. Pretty sure I am going to keep sagacity gumballs in the URL. I love the word sagacious. Sounds way worse than it really is. And I love bubble gum. The idea of chewing gum and being sagacious appeals to me. Blowing bubbles can be that moment when the epiphany hits. Actually that would be when the bubble pops--or maybe not.

Yeah, I don't think the metaphor is that important so I'm going to leave it there for you to chew on.

I figure these first few posts are going to be kind of rough.

"Descants" is a word I have an affinity for. If you haven't read Robert Coover's Pricksongs and Descants, you should; has some great satire in it. Pretty offensive too, pending on how serious you are.

For you die hard grammatist I should warn you that I use anaphora without reserve (not really). And I'm not afraid to misuse a comma (shamefully it is true, I am not afraid--it's my way of sticking it to the man). And I start sentences with conjunctions whenever the farkle I feel like it (my way of being the man). And I am going to have a post later about f bombs, so until then, I won't be dropping them (trying to stay in touch with my sensitive side, which is better than touching it).

Descants are commentaries or short vignettes on a subject. Probably wishful thinking with what a windbag I can be. "Salivations" is a way of labeling something I drool over. I am thinking food, not women, admittedly there are women that get my juices flowing, but I've learned to control my glands around them . . . sort of. Plus I think it's funny that if you take that one "i" out of salivation, you get salvation. I always figured if I were a preacher, I'd find a way to use that.

Yea, Salivations are temptations and yea temptations are naughty and you must remove yourself from them. And so what you must do is take the I out of salivating, and what will that give you? Salvating! Wait a minute, let me look at this again. Yeah, this still needs some work. Come back next Sunday and try not to sin between now and then.

I beg your pardon, where were we? Protestations.

"Protestations" are for when I am irritated with something, which is pretty often. And "Proclamations" are for when I know what is best for everyone, including those who never read this.

I do not know if I will use this for retractions or any kind of apology. It'll be interesting to see if I do. I think there will be those times when I run my mouth and regret it. Hopefully, I never get the urge to do this when I 've been hitting the sauce.

Confessions are out, too, although I wouldn't put it past me to bring up something from my childhood and exaggerate a little for the sake of entertainment and a little attention.

Maybe I should change the title to "Shut Up and Listen." Might suit me better. Or not--typically, people don't shut up and listen when I tell them . . . I mean, ask them to. Actually, I rarely insist on such things. And as a teacher, I've learned that some people may look like they're listening to me but really aren't. I figure people who don't listen to me, deserve what they got coming. And in fairness to my ears and eyes, I gain far more from listening and observing than I do from running my mouth (pretty sure I haven't always felt that way). In that respect, I guess it would be a title for the sake of irony.

So here goes my foray into this on-line journaling. It's about time really.

The more I think about it, the title I have doesn't seem so bad. Though I don't see too many of my posts being sagacious, you never know. At least the four categories give me some options.

Cheers.