Inaugural Post (Descants, Salivations, Protestations, and Proclamations?)

So what the hell am I doing with this title, "Descants, Salivations, Protestations, and Proclamations"? Delusions of grandeur I am sure. Pretty sure I am going to keep sagacity gumballs in the URL. I love the word sagacious. Sounds way worse than it really is. And I love bubble gum. The idea of chewing gum and being sagacious appeals to me. Blowing bubbles can be that moment when the epiphany hits. Actually that would be when the bubble pops--or maybe not.

Yeah, I don't think the metaphor is that important so I'm going to leave it there for you to chew on.

I figure these first few posts are going to be kind of rough.

"Descants" is a word I have an affinity for. If you haven't read Robert Coover's Pricksongs and Descants, you should; has some great satire in it. Pretty offensive too, pending on how serious you are.

For you die hard grammatist I should warn you that I use anaphora without reserve (not really). And I'm not afraid to misuse a comma (shamefully it is true, I am not afraid--it's my way of sticking it to the man). And I start sentences with conjunctions whenever the farkle I feel like it (my way of being the man). And I am going to have a post later about f bombs, so until then, I won't be dropping them (trying to stay in touch with my sensitive side, which is better than touching it).

Descants are commentaries or short vignettes on a subject. Probably wishful thinking with what a windbag I can be. "Salivations" is a way of labeling something I drool over. I am thinking food, not women, admittedly there are women that get my juices flowing, but I've learned to control my glands around them . . . sort of. Plus I think it's funny that if you take that one "i" out of salivation, you get salvation. I always figured if I were a preacher, I'd find a way to use that.

Yea, Salivations are temptations and yea temptations are naughty and you must remove yourself from them. And so what you must do is take the I out of salivating, and what will that give you? Salvating! Wait a minute, let me look at this again. Yeah, this still needs some work. Come back next Sunday and try not to sin between now and then.

I beg your pardon, where were we? Protestations.

"Protestations" are for when I am irritated with something, which is pretty often. And "Proclamations" are for when I know what is best for everyone, including those who never read this.

I do not know if I will use this for retractions or any kind of apology. It'll be interesting to see if I do. I think there will be those times when I run my mouth and regret it. Hopefully, I never get the urge to do this when I 've been hitting the sauce.

Confessions are out, too, although I wouldn't put it past me to bring up something from my childhood and exaggerate a little for the sake of entertainment and a little attention.

Maybe I should change the title to "Shut Up and Listen." Might suit me better. Or not--typically, people don't shut up and listen when I tell them . . . I mean, ask them to. Actually, I rarely insist on such things. And as a teacher, I've learned that some people may look like they're listening to me but really aren't. I figure people who don't listen to me, deserve what they got coming. And in fairness to my ears and eyes, I gain far more from listening and observing than I do from running my mouth (pretty sure I haven't always felt that way). In that respect, I guess it would be a title for the sake of irony.

So here goes my foray into this on-line journaling. It's about time really.

The more I think about it, the title I have doesn't seem so bad. Though I don't see too many of my posts being sagacious, you never know. At least the four categories give me some options.

Cheers.